Lovely evening at Paisley last night for the 10th anniversary of ordination for Frs Dazzle and Gordie. It all went very well and my sermon went down okay, I think. At least they didn't heckle this East-coaster, which is always a risk when we venture west.

The choir were jolly good and I had a good seat to hear them. And we had a lovely purvey afterwards. (Who uses the word purvey any more?!)

Here are the pics for your edification. (Well if they can use 'purvey' I can use 'edification'.)

I stayed over at Fr Dazzle's house and woke to hear the distant sound of drums. It did occur to me that Fr D has a strange taste in alarm clocks, but the sound persisted and got louder and soon I could hear the music of flutes too. You know you're in the West when you are woken by an Orange marching band. I did not get up to cheer them on their way.

Feast of Ss Peter and Paul
Holy Trinity Paisley
29 June 2007

First, can I thank Frs Darren and Gordon for inviting me here to preach on this very special occasion and I bring greetings from St Mark’s Portobello. It is always a bit scary when you move out of your comfort zone – and your diocese – so I hope you will be gentle with this incomer. And can I also say before I begin that it is also the anniversary of my ordination, although I have only managed seven years. Now if this was a marriage I would be starting to feel itchy about now, but can I assure you that I have taken my antihistamines and so far, so good.

Right! So today is the Feast Day of the martyrdom of Saints Peter and Paul. You may be interested to know that it is also the anniversary of the very first appendectomy performed in England in 1888. And did you remember that on this day in 1995 the US space shuttle Atlantis docked with the Russian Space station Mir to form the largest man-made satellite ever to orbit the earth? All great events, I’m sure you’ll agree, especially if you happen to have a grumbling appendix.

Of course it is also a special day for many clergy who were ordained at Petertide - a day when they committed themselves to serve God in the Church. I remember thinking on my own pre-ordination retreat that these two saints were a great source of hope to me. They seemed to say to me that of all those who are called to the sacred ministry, God chooses the most unlikely people to serve him in his world.

Time and time again I would ask,
“Why me, God?”
And I dare say, that continues to be whispered throughout Edinburgh, Airdrie and Paisley…
“Why them, God?”

But then I doubt if either Peter or Paul would have been recommended for training by the church authorities today. Indeed, I doubt if they would have even got as far as a selection conference, let alone be recommended for training.

Peter – the one who had such good intentions, but was constantly putting his foot in it. We can all relate to Peter.
And Paul – even worse! An active destroyer of the faith, and persecutor of those who professed it. Would you choose either of those for your next Priest?

Yet even today God is calling the most unlikely people to do great things for him. (Not that I am implying that Frs Darren and Gordon are unlikely candidates!) But the one thing that Peter and Paul have in common is that whatever may seem to have been a barrier to them fulfilling God’s call to them, they both gave their whole beings to the work of the Gospel. By the grace of God, they were able to use the basic goodness and talent with which they were endowed to help establish the Gospel in many parts of the world. And tonight you have before you, two other shining examples of manhood who have used their God-given talents to help establish the Gospel in the west of Scotland.

When I was looking up what events had happened on this day in history I came across a quote made on this day in 1757 by Anglican priest and hymn-writer John Newton, who wrote Amazing Grace.
He wrote:
'Whatever we may undertake with a sincere desire to promote His glory, we may comfortably pursue. Nothing is trivial that is done for Him.'

Nothing is trivial that is done for Him. Words that could be said of Peter and Paul. Words that could be said to any priest on the day of their ordination – the day when your whole life, no matter how trivial, is dedicated to God. Nothing is trivial that is done for Him.

But let’s go back to Peter and Paul. Simon Peter was one of the first disciples of Jesus. Through his brother Andrew, Simon Peter came to know the Master. He was working in his boat when he saw Jesus for the first time. Jesus’ gaze was especially profound and insightful. Jesus continued to gaze at Simon Peter and it was this look that pierced Peter through. From that moment on he felt drawn to the Lord. And, in spite of Peter’s uncertainty and denials, from that moment on he followed the Master and ended up giving up his life for him.

On the other hand, God called Saint Paul in a more extraordinary manner. You're all familiar with the story. While travelling on horseback from Jerusalem to Damascus looking for Christians to imprison, Paul suddenly saw a blinding light that came from the heavens. He fell from his horse and heard a voice that said, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” Paul was struck blind and it was only after his baptism that he could see again. Saint Paul was totally convinced, from the moment of his conversion, that God had called him to be an apostle. To Saint Paul was given the task of evangelizing the pagans. His great evangelizing zeal gave him the strength he needed to resist the mistreatment that he suffered because he followed Christ. He was flogged, beaten and incarcerated for preaching the Gospel of the Lord. And, despite all of this, he did not feel abandoned. He knew that the Lord was at his side, encouraging him to continue clearly preaching the message of salvation.

I wonder if you have ever asked your priests how they came to follow Him. For each of us has a story to tell and each story is unique and special. And have you ever asked them when they had that Damascus moment or that feeling that Jesus was looking at them with a piercing gaze? What made them give up their old way of life to follow him?
To believe that nothing is trivial that is done for Him?

Disciples, apostles, priests – I’m sure all have doubted at times like Peter – and all have been totally convinced at times like Paul.

I once read that a priest’s vocation is to bless, absolve and teach. ‘These are not acts, but part of an attitude. We are to be present in the world in such a way that those we meet feel absolved without asking for absolution, feel blessed without asking for blessing, feel instructed without asking for teaching. And this attitude needs to be so intrinsic to our beings that there is never a moment of time when we are not this way.’ (Don Rogan)

Both Gordon and Darren have that innate ability, by something intrinsic within them, which fulfils their vocation to the priesthood. But please don’t think that they spend their days gliding up and down church aisles in holy liturgy, or kneeling piously in prayer while the rest of us hurry about our lives. They may indeed do that for some of their days but I can tell you here and now categorically that they also can reduce me to tears of laughter and be very silly indeed.
But I promised not to tell…

However, I do know that they are always there for me at the end of a phone if I have a question to ask or a problem needing solved. They rejoice in their vocation and nothing is too trivial that is done for Him.

In our gospel today, Jesus promises Peter – not that Peter will build the church – but that Jesus himself will build the church on the rock that is his faith. He also implies that it is Jesus himself who will ensure that ‘the gates of the underworld will never prevail against it.’ If the Church is to be built, Peter and his community will need to rely on the presence of the Lord time and time again. As priests we must remember that it is not us who builds the church – but that Jesus does, on the faith of all who enter. On those who rely on the presence of the Lord each moment of their lives.
For nothing is trivial that is done for Him.

Nothing is trivial that is done for Him.
Not the visiting, nor the administration of the sacraments.
Not the sacred conversations, nor the strangers met.
Not the daily prayers, nor the daily questions.
Not the endless paperwork, nor the preaching of word and sacrament.
Not the meetings, nor the Synods.
Not the loneliness, nor the companionship.
Not the days off, nor the late nights.
Not the baptisms, nor the funerals.
Not the confessions heard, nor the encounters blessed.
Not the gathering of little flocks, nor the saying goodbyes.
Not the Beetle Drives, nor the Summer Fairs.
Nothing is trivial that is done for Him.

Today is the day when we celebrate Saints Peter and Paul saying yes to God’s plan for them. Today is the day when we celebrate Frs Darren and Gordon saying yes to God’s plan for them. A yes that took them on a journey of joys and heartaches to the place where they meet tonight to celebrate in this sacred place. A yes that made them rely on the presence of God each moment of their lives. A yes that meant that nothing is trivial that is done for Him.

Tonight we are reminded that God’s ways are not our ways. Each of us is called in a thousand different ways to confess Christ in our lives, and to be a blessing to others in the advancement of God’s kingdom. Tonight we give thanks for Frs Darren and Gordon’s journey so far and we pray that our lives will continue to be blessed by them in the future.

Round the block a couple of times this morning with Son #2 who is learning to drive. Not nice not being in control. He did very well considering he is used to power steering and my old jalope still has indicators that flap out the sides. As the parked car loomed towards us he learned to turn, turn, turn.

I may go grey if this continues. What am I talking about? I am purple! I shall never go grey!

Junior: So are you going anywhere nice that you're getting your hair done?

Me: No, not really. Although I have been asked to preach on Friday for some friends who are celebrating their 10th anniversary of ordination.

Junior: (long pause) That'll be nice. At least it gets you out the house.

Found this today in my search for something meaningful to preach on Friday. Anyone else think its a little creepy?

The Beautiful Hands of a Priest.

We need them in life's early morning,
We need them again at its close;
We feel their warm clasp of true friendship,
We seek it while tasting life's woes.

When we come to this world we are sinful,
The greatest as well as the least.
And the hands that make us pure as angels
Are the beautiful hands of a priest.

At the altar each day we behold them,
And the hands of a king on his throne
Are not equal to them in their greatness
Their dignity stands alone.

For there in the stillness of morning
Ere the sun has emerged from the east,
There God rests between the pure fingers
Of the beautiful hands of a priest.

When we are tempted and wander
To pathways of shame and sin
'Tis the hand of a priest that absolve us.
Not once but again and again.

And when we are taking life's partner
Other hands may prepare us a feast
But the hands that will bless and unite us,
Are the beautiful hands of a priest.

God bless them and keep them all holy,
For the Host which their fingers caress,
What can a poor sinner do better
Than to ask Him who chose them to bless

When the death dews on our lids are falling,
May our courage and strength be increased
By seeing raised o'er us in blessing
The beautiful hands of a priest.

I've visited the counties in yellow. Which counties have you visited? made by marnanel map reproduced from Ordnance Survey map data by permission of the Ordnance Survey. © Crown copyright 2001.

But I have been to Uist too. Not sure where it is or what bit it is on the map. Did I miss it out?

The trouble with these things is that they presume you know the name of the county. Now, if they'd mentioned the cathedral towns associated with each county it would have been much easier.

In the studio: Now we are going over to John who is reporting to us from the flood site.

John: Yes, hello. I am standing in water which last night came up to my thighs. You can see the line on that building over there. It was terrifying - three people have died, many more injured. Helicopters...

In the studio: Sorry John, we have to interrupt you there because we are going Live to the USA where Paris Hilton is just getting out of jail. Jackie, what can you see?

Jackie: Yes, we are just about to see Paris.. yes, there she is!... what is she wearing?... well, I don't think she's as thin as we expected. She's walking through the crowds of reporters to get in the car with her mum and dad. That's it all over, back to you in the studio.

I have been asked to preach this coming Friday on the Feast of Ss Peter and Paul to celebrate the 10th anniversary of priesting of two dear friends. My mind is completely blank. And I have a busy week so I need to get something down on paper pretty soon. Help!

Yesterday Son #1 and I went to Edinburgh Art College's end of year exhibition. We saw some weird and wonderful things but I'm afraid I am just too old-school to really appreciate that some were indeed art. Does nobody paint pictures of people, that look like people, anymore?

A couple stick in my mind, but I'm sorry I didn't note the names of the artists.

One man did the most fascinating miniature ink on paper pictures. You needed a magnifying glass to see them properly and they were really unbelievable. How did he do it? One was of a class of school pupils and was about 1 square inch.

A woman did some great Beryl Cook-like characters. They were the closest thing to reality that we found.

And Son #1's friend has some pretty good paintings of abstract faces. I could have lived with some of them on my wall, but a bit too pricey for me.

A bit too much of Tracy Emin's influence for my liking. Does modern art work for you?

Yesterday was our Family SErvice and congregational potluck lunch to welcome all the newcomers we've had in the past 6 months. We also held a Teddy Bears Picnic for the children.

They came in all shapes and sizes. Some were in pretty good shape and others well-worn/loved. I took along Sooty and Sweep, Pious the Puffin, and knitted ted that didn't make it to Africa because he had no neck (long story). Some grown-ups brought their teddies too. We spoke about why teddies are like God and they were all blessed.

Sorry there are no photos. I did take my camera but left it in my briefcase and got so caught up in musical statues that I forgot to take any. And I can't imagine the children would have been separated from them for a photo-call. (Strict rules about photographing children and certainly not to be posted on blogs.)

A fun time was had by all and a big thanks to Nicola and Leanne for organising the games and gifts. And thanks to Pat for organising the potluck lunch - it was excellent.

Is it Art?

It is called Wonder Artwork and they appeared on Portobello Beach this week. Each pyramid is made from hundreds of sandbags which locals have been helping to fill. I quite like them.

Suspect they won't last long when the local yoofs get their hands on them.

A fun night last night when we gathered to tell stories of disastrous funerals (Breaker Betty and Tam the Bam featured heavily). We spoke about the kind of funerals we would like.

What would you like people to say about you once you're gone?

What hymns do you want? Chances are that the folk who sit next to you in church know what your favourite hymns are but your children don't. Do you want to be like all the others who end up with Morning has Broken and All Things Bright and Beautiful because those are the only hymns your children know?

So they have all gone home with their forms to fill in with all the information a priest would ever need when doing a funeral. My life is going to be so much easier now!

Had some training on Confession (or rather Reconciliation) today. I am meant to be the Co-ordinator of this group but as ever I relish the opportunity to learn things that I never did when I was a curate. (Oh drat! I vowed never to use that phrase 'when I was a curate'.)

Turns out that I've been doing it all right so far. But lots of issues to think about. Especially about forgiving ourselves.

Liked the old saying:
All may
None must
Some should

Last night we met to discuss Perfume by Patrick Suskind. This is one of my favourite books. Well, perhaps 'favourite' is not quite the right description. When I first read Perfume I had never read anything like it before and was absolutely captured by its descriptive writing. However, it is pretty gruesome and not for the faint-hearted!

Did the group enjoy it? A resounding NO! Well, K felt as I did. P was sort of intrigued but had to work at it. M & S didn't like it at all. Oh, and J, who couldn't be with us, had loved it and was passing it round all his friends who were bewildered at his choice.

Next book is The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver.

It has been a busy few weeks what with one thing and another so I have a pile of Church Timeses to catch up on. This morning I am across an article from a few weeks back on promoting good communication skills.

It would appear that the Archbishops' Council's Communications Training programme includes new courses entitled 'Blogging for Beginners', 'Spreading the message in cyberspace' and 'Getting the most ouf of new media'.

It quotes Gillian Oliver, Head of Communication Development who says, "As technology moves on we have to be swift-footed in the Church. But there is little point in people launching websites if they are so poorly designed or so rarely updated that no-one will look at them.'

The courses are open to anyone who wishes to develop their communication skills in order to promote the work and mission of the Church.

Good for the CofE. I've always maintained that blogging is Mission. Now, when can we expect the same in Scotland do you think?

We could also do with training on how to hold conferences at long-distances.

Doh! After spending countless hours sitting on the phone to the Indian call centre and wrestling with language problems and the inability to LISTEN and suffering mind-numbing on-hold muzak - after all that I was still no closer to receiving emails. However, I decided to email my computer guru to see if he could shed any light upon the problem, and of course he did. Why didn't I think of that sooner? Turns out that my domain name had expired. You'd think they could send a reminder!

Should be all up and running soon.

Last night we went to see Guys and Dolls and it was absolutely wonderful. Darius was the star of the show - what a tall man he is! Whatsisname who used to be Barry out of Eastenders was jolly good too. The choreography was superb and I think the male dancers were wonderful. So many superlatives!

My only complaint was with the seating in the Playhouse. It really is compact and I had to vie for the armrest with a very large gentleman on my right. You couldn't cross your legs for love nor money. At the interval I moved into the empty seat behind us at the end of a row and it was much better. It also gave me a wonderful view of the orchestra which distracted me from the main show for one number. The percussionist was a man possessed leaped from zylophone to bells to other unknown banging things. Glorious!

Sorry folks, but my email seems to have become very selective with its choice of incoming emails. Virgin Media, so far, have been unable to find out why I am not receiving your emails. Well, some of them anyway. Half an hour I spent on the phone this morning with a man who seemed unable to understand what I was saying. Likewise I couldn't understand what he was saying. I repeated the problem a total of 6 times and was put on hold 7 times and all to no avail. It may have been an Indian call-centre. I am weary of it all.

And it would appear that they do not support Microsoft Outlook, only Outlook Express. Well that's not very good, is it?

You can read a report on this year's General Synod at the Anglican Communion's website.

It's not as amusing as Kelvin's various reports but there you have it. I don't even know who wrote it.

Last night I was preaching at St Barnabas, Moredun for their patronal festival. About 9 years ago I was a pastoral assistant there so it was nice to go back and see old friends. St B is a small church in the middle of a housing scheme on the south-side of Edinburgh. The congregation is small (there were 10 of us last night) but the commitment is huge. David, the NSM priest, has been there for a while and is one of the hardest working priests I know.

William Barclay described Barnabas as 'the man with the biggest heart in the Church' so that's what I preached. Big hearted Barnabas. A model for us all.

Whilst out with Son #2 last week on the hunt for an elusive after-shave that he wanted, he picked up a bottle, inhaled deeply, and said, "Oh, this one smells like church." Indeed he was right. Gucci Pour Homme smells exactly like inhaling deeply of a thurible full of Prinknash's best. It is divine.

So if your congregation is of the coughing and spluttering kind whenever the thurible is brought into view, why not wear this instead? You could walk about with your own little cloud of incense around you and warn them not to get too near. Great, eh?

I've bought some of the EDT and I reckon I should be on commission. They have missed a marketing opportunity here.

Any other churchy smells that should be made into perfume?

I came across this piece of news on my Google Alert. This is great news and deserves to be celebrated. Pity we didn't hear about it at Synod or on our own website.

[Episcopal News Service] The Primus of the Scottish Episcopal Church, the Most Rev. Dr. Idris Jones, will join Archbishop Carlos Touché-Porter of Mexico as a patron of Inclusive Church, a U.K.-based organization that advocates for "a liberal, open church which is inclusive of all," regardless of race, gender or sexuality.

"It is a privilege to be associated with Inclusive Church. The Anglican Communion is seeking how it may develop and deepen its life today -- what better way could there be than working to keep our church as welcoming and encouraging to everyone who wants to follow Jesus so that everyone of us can be challenged by God's love," said Jones, who also serves as Bishop of Glasgow & Galloway.

Inclusive Church also announced that Touché-Porter will be visiting England in September to partake in two major conferences that will promote the diversity of Anglicanism and underscore the need for a worldwide Anglican Communion that upholds plurality and inclusiveness.

Touché-Porter was a co-signer of the Declaration by the Global Centre, released in May 2007 which reaffirmed the call of Latin American bishops to preserve the "participative, diverse, ample and inclusive" nature of the Communion.

The first of two conferences, "Renewing our Vision -- Anglicans and the Global Centre," will be held on Saturday, September 22, at St Matthew's Church in Westminster.

Jones will join Touché-Porter as a speaker at the second conference, "Celebrating Anglican Diversity," which will be held on Saturday, September 29, at Manchester Cathedral, England.

Further information about the conferences will be available here.

According to Inclusive Church, these conferences will inform discussions at "Drenched in Grace," the organization's first residential conference to be held in Derbyshire, England, November 21-23. That conference is intended to be "a celebration and restatement of broad and inclusive Anglicanism." Further information about this conference is available here.

"We are increasingly concerned that attempts to make the Communion less diverse are a distraction from the Gospel and are jeopardizing our ability to be witnesses to the love of Christ for the world," an Inclusive Church news release stated, which also raised "serious doubts about the necessity and draft wording" of the proposed Anglican Covenant.

"We welcome the commitment to the historic inclusiveness of the Gospel by the Primates of Mexico and Scotland," the release said. "We hope with these events to contribute to the renewed vision of the Anglican Communion for the world in preparation for the 2008 Lambeth Conference."

She was warm-hearted and generous to a fault.
She attracted lame ducks and cared for them to the detriment of her relationships with others.
She was beautiful although she didn't know it.
She was beatiful within and without.

She was only 46 when she died yesterday.
She was my cousin.

Try this little exercise in relaxation - it works!

Picture yourself near a stream.
Birds are chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air.
Nothing can bother you here.
No one knows this secret place.
You are in total seclusion from that place called 'the world'.
The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
The water is clear.
You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under water.

There now, feeling better?

I'm back. It seems as if I have been out of circulation for weeks but it was only 2 and a half days that I was ensconced in PP Church on a horsehair cushion with no room to cross my legs, whilst the past and future of our little Church was debated and decided. I shall not report on the ins and outs of it here because, as if by witchcraft, the Provost of Glasgow Cathedral managed to write with a plastic doodah on to the screen of his laptop throughout the proceedings and somehow they were transformed into regular blog entries each day. See http://www.thurible.net/
(Can anyone tell me how I do that thing where the word becomes the link to a site instead of me typing out the URL?)

Mind you, his magic gadget did have a slight problem recognising his handwriting and some interesting names and words have appeared. However, 10 out of 10 for effort. Maybe next year we will get to watch it live on our computers at home? Actually, I was there and I'm not sure that all of it was live.

And out of all that was discussed and debated, my abiding memory will be of a passionate speech by a young ordinand who may have to give up because of lack of finance. I was that ordinand once upon a time and lost my house because of it, and her plea moved me more than I can say. So to debate, 12 hours later, a plea to have one Sunday in the year dedicated to raising money for the Community Fund left me wondering whether next year we shouldn't have a Motion to dedicate one Sunday in the year to raising the profile of, and raising money for, Vocations and Training of Clergy. We could call it the TAP Fund (Train a Priest). Oh has that already been done elsewhere?

I have decided to cull my list of Blog.co.uk friends. Well the decision was made for me really but we won't go into that. Those who have not commented for a long time have gone and only those who communicate regularly, or whose blogs I read, remain. Farewell, it was good knowing you.

Gone for a new look too. Makes it easier to find other Blogs I like. You should check them out - lots of good Piskie blogs out there.

Off to General Synod today and for the next 2 days. Blogging therefore will be thin, if not non-existant.

I am not looking forward to hard seats and having to keep quiet for long periods. I am looking forward to catching up with old friends and networking. It is quite an honour really to be there making decisions about our future.

And after a long day it will be a delight to pop along to my home church, St Michael and All Saints, for Corpus Christi with all the trimmings. I suspect it will be a full house too, with many clergy in town coming along to see how it's done.

Once more unto the breach...