We have at least three. I'm amazed at the reluctance to purchase a new hoover - people are now at the point of bringing their personal hoover from home when it's their turn on the cleaning rota so as not to hasten the demise (too late) of the church hoover.

Why does everyone think that God's house should get second best? I just don't get it!

It's like crockery. Here is some chipped mismatched crockery which the church could use. AAAGGHH!

At the risk of sounding like a 'hoover supremacist', you should know Ruth that here in Dunfermline we only have one hoover - a Dyson - and it is in remarkably robust health! Perhaps you and all long-suffering Episcopalians should get one of those? I do know what you mean about crockery however - there is no answer to it - I think people believe they are being kind in off-loading this chipped and unmatching stuff to a deserving charity such as the church. Indeed Oxfam or Cancer Research would put it straight in the bucket!

Oooh Fr David, you are my hero. I aspire to having one Dyson. Just one. And a purple one at that.

When our last Rector went back to Sweden she left us a wonderful vacuum cleaner which couldn't be used on Swedish voltage. Until then we suffered with a series of stroppy, ancient oovers.

At the risk of sounding like a Priate eye "I should get out more" writer, Why not buy an industrial strngth vacuum cleaner ? They are only sluightly more expensive than the standard home ones and will last loads longer. There is a "family" of ones with great eyes and noses stick on them - Henry, Edward etc. We had one in the Gp surgery for 15 years !
Much cuter than a purple dyson - i mean purple ??? Surely there are only vertain times in teh ecclesiastical year when that is appropriate. At least in lent you could cover up Henry's face !!

Well I think someone has bought the industrial Dyson. But I had forgotten about Henry and his friends. We had one in an office I once worked in and it was great, right enough. But the people who do the cleaning had requested an upright so Dyson it is.

And if we only saw purple at certain times of the calendar then I'd have to stay indoors a lot too!