Great doubt : great awakening
Little doubt : little awakening
No doubt : no awakening.

Zen Koan

apart from comparing surreptitiosly one another's shine on shoes and length of tassle on stoles and whiteness of albs and that sort of thing, what else do we talk about?

Well at today's ordination (and a marathon it was too with a sound system that seemed to be operated by someone determined to scare the heebeegeebies out of us) I heard the funniest Easter Vigil story from Fr J. There were runaway cars, exploding airbags, a sleepy organist, a lost Gloria and disco lights. I tell you, you just had to be there!

No, not OUR St Mark's. Did you think I'd gone out and spent all the money that is flooding in as we speak after our Stewardship Campaign. Did I mention that we need money...?

No, today I made a trip through the worse traffic jams ever to St Mark's East Kilbride for the opening of their new church buildings. And lovely they were too. Wish I'd taken a photo of the toilets (Adam and Eve they were called!) because the Ladies was a delicious shade of lavender.

I forgot to take my black shoes with me, hence the Birkenstocks in a rather fetching lilac paisley pattern. But after much criticism from certain clergy I did notice the Dean of the Diocese was not exactly wearing shiny black himself.

Anyway here are some photos of the event.

From the SEC website...

The Very Rev Dr Robert (Bob) Gillies has been elected as the new Bishop for the Diocese of Aberdeen & Orkney.

Bob Gillies is presently rector of St Andrew’s Church, St Andrews and Dean of that diocese. He has previously held appointments as chaplain to the University of Dundee, Curate to Christ Church, Morningside, Edinburgh and Curate to Christ Church, Falkirk. He was an honorary philosophy lecturer at Dundee from 1985-1994.

On hearing the news of his election Bob said “I am absolutely thrilled to have this wonderful opportunity of working with the people of the Diocese of Aberdeen and Orkney, to make new friends and learn some new skills. However, I am deeply sad to be leaving St Andrew’s church in St Andrews” The election of the new Bishop was carried out by the Electoral Synod (comprising of representatives of clergy and lay church members from the Diocese of Aberdeen & Orkney), which was chaired by the Primus of the Scottish Episcopal Church, the Most Rev Dr Idris Jones, who says: “Bob brings to the College of Bishops a clear and insightful mind; to the Diocese he will offer the benefit of experience of working with a growing congregation. The whole Church will wish Liz and Bob well as he picks up the legacy from Bishop Bruce Cameron in Aberdeen & Orkney”

Bob Gillies (age 55) is married to Liz. They have three sons – Patrick, Andrew and Timothy. The service of consecration and installation of the new Bishop will take place in September in St Andrew’s Cathedral in Aberdeen. Further details of this service will be available at a later date.

(Fr Bob was one of the people responsible for my selection for training for the priesthood. He was a tough interviewer as I think my body language showed during said interview - that was curled up in a semi-foetal position facing away from him!)

Can anyone explain to me what is so attractive about the cement-stuff on the front of my house to wasps? They appear to be nibbling away at it and I am worried that soon either the house will collapse or they will burrow their way through to the dining room.

I'm not really good with insects. Moths are the biggy but wasps come a pretty close second. Any help gratefully received.

It would appear that there was an earthquake at Canterbury this morning. ++Rowan, are you heeding the signs?

Oh there is nothing quite like a trip to the Podiatrist on your day off for putting a skip in your step. Ah, bliss! Although I do have 2 bandaged big toes which look a bit weird in sandals.

Back home after a little light shopping to do my Annual Appraisal for Monday. Yes, I know I shouldn't be doing that on my day off but it sort of crept up on me and this week was rather taken up with the launch of our Stewardship Campaign. Oh sorry, did I already mention that we need an extra fiver per head per week?

I quite enjoy the Appraisal process. It's always good to spend some time looking back and reflecting on the past year. And I had great fun listing some goals for next year (may have been a little ambitious on that front). On the whole though, it was much more positive.

Off now to put the feet up and get stuck into my book...

Life is a sexually transmitted and (eventually) fatal disease.

Big celebration last night at St Mark's for our Patronal Festival and launch of our Stewardship Campaign. Good turn-out and good food and good company. What more could you ask?

It's the first proper Stewardship Campaign that's been done here for over 20 years. We currently are running at a deficit of £3.33 per person per week. What we would like is an extra £5 pppw to put us right for the future and get off Augmentation. That means doing without one glossy mag a week, or one packet of fags, or 5 litres of petrol, or ... Not much really for Jesus, eh?

Our next book will be Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt by Anne Rice. It is a fictional account of Jesus' childhood.

Anne Rice is probably better known for her Vampire Chronicles which I have never read. But I did read her amazing novel called Cry to Heaven which is all about Italian Castrati. She certainly does her research so Christ the Lord should be interesting.

http://raspberry_rabbit.blogspot.com/

Check out Fr Rob's Blog for the fascinating transformation of an altar.

But watch out for the uneven length of cloth on the back raised bit. Women servers would never allow that!

Four candidates have been short-listed for the post of Bishop of Moray, Ross & Caithness (one of the seven Dioceses of the Scottish Episcopal Church) which became vacant last November following the retirement of the Rt Rev John Crook, who served the Diocese as Bishop for 7 years.

The candidates have been selected by a small committee, chaired by the Primus, of clergy and church members representing the diocese and the wider Church. The next stage in the selection process is a meeting of each of the candidates with members of an Electoral Synod (representatives of clergy and lay church members from the diocese only). That meeting will take place on 26 May, with the election of the successful candidate taking place on 2 June.

The candidates are :

· The Ven Richard Gillings, Archdeacon of Macclesfield

· The Very Rev Alexander Gordon, Provost of St Andrew’s Cathedral, Inverness

· The Rev Canon Mark Strange, Rector of Holy Trinity Church, Elgin and Priest in Charge of St Margaret’s, Lossiemouth; St Michael’s, Dufftown and St Margaret’s, Aberlour and Canon of St Andrew’s Cathedral, Inverness and Synod Clerk of the Diocese of Moray, Ross & Caithness

· The Ven Dr Ian Young, Archdeacon of Emirates in Cyprus and The Gulf and Chaplain in Qatar

Commenting on the short-list, the Primus of the Scottish Episcopal Church, The Most Rev Dr Idris Jones says “The Preparatory Committee commends these candidates to the Electors with confidence that from among them a new Bishop can be chosen who will lead the Diocese forward with a renewed sense of mission in the Highlands”

In the end I didn't manage to get away this past week but instead I holed myself up in the house with plenty supplies of decaff drinks of various hues, and little tempting nibbles. I woke at the same time I always do (why does that always happen on holiday?) and after a leisurely breakfast cuddled up on the old recliner and either read or watched movies. It was just glorious.

So thank you for asking, what did I read?

The Other Side of You by Salley Vickers. I love her books and this one is excellent. You must read it! If you love Carravagio's paintings you will love it all the more.

The Lighthouse by PD James. Not unlike all the other PD Jameses I have read but kept me guessing all the same.

Plain Truth by Jodi Picoult. If you want to know anything about the Amish community then read this. I did guess whodunnit but enjoyed it all the same.

And what did I watch?

The History Boys by Alan Bennett. We are going to watch it with the Film Group so I won't say too much here but I loved it. The film also has the same actors in it who did the stage play. Reminded me of one of my old-time favourites 'Goodbye Mr Chips' which always reduced me to tears when the sung the school anthem at the end.

Casino Royale. What a body! What more can I say?

Joyeux Noel. The story of the groups of soldiers during WW1 who called a ceasefire on Christmas Eve and remembered that they were human beings. Interesting to note that one of the German soldiers was Jewish.

Saving Private Ryan. Yes, I know I must be the last person in the world to watch this but I've just never had time. It did drag on a bit and you would have thought the Americans fought the war alone, but apart from that it was okay. Nice music.

And finally, I went with the gift vouchers from my Confirmation class and bought a portable digital radio which I can take away with me. For those interested it was the Pure Move DAB/FM Radio and now I won't have to wrestle with the tuning button every time I go on retreats and holidays searching for those elusive stations. That's if I am in a region which gets digital radio, of course. (Hence the alternative FM just in case.)

And yesterday I met up with old friends for a 50th birthday lunch (not mine) and marvelled at how little we have all changed. Yes I know, that cataract is still to be seen to!

So that's about it really. Didn't do very much but escape in other peoples' worlds for a few days and jolly nice it was too. Must remember to diary in some reading time more often in future.

The post-Easter break is beloved by all clergy throughout the land. Including this one. Service shall resume in one week's time.

Just finished our book group's choice : The testament of Gideon Mack by James Robertson. It took me a while to get in to it but once I got to about the middle it all hotted up. This author knows the Church of Scotland and the characters who inhabit it. Did Gideon Mack meet the Devil? Or was it his own demon? The jury is still out on that one!

My word! You miss a week of the Archers and it turns out to be nearly as exciting as Holy Week and Easter. I fear it's not going to end as well though.

What do clergy do on Easter Monday?

They go shopping because there is no food in the house.
They wash clothes that have been cast aside during the multiple changes during the past week. (Especially clerical shirts and manky albs.)
And finally they start to clear the paper mountain on top of their desks.

Sometimes they even cry.

Here they are in all their glory. (Sorry half were missed out in one of the pics!)

The marathon that was Holy Week is finally over. It has taken its toll on the servers, the organist and the priest in charge. Not to mention the faithful few who journeyed through it all with us. If there was such a thing as purgatory I'm convinced they'd get a pass through without stopping.

The climax was The Vigil last night. Our newly formed choir sang for the first time in public and did a jolly good job too. We started in semi-darkness with the new fire; we sang the Exsultet together; we listened to too many readings (must reduce it somehow next year); we renewed our baptismal vows and baptised a new member; the Bishop confirmed eight of my little flock and I was so proud of them; we sang Come Holy Ghost on our knees; we celebrated the first Mass of Easter; we drank champagne and alleluia'd all the way home.

The Bishop preached a glorious sermon on Do Not be Afraid - Jesus Christ is with you. And I watched the confirmands sit with eyes wide, drinking in his every word. He put them all at their ease - not to mention the altar party who were dizzy with the new liturgy.

Iva, our organist, excelled herself with the Gloria as befits the season. And did it all over again this morning. In fact, I don't think there was a stop which wasn't pulled out!

And today began at the beach at 7am with our neighbourly Presbyterian sisters and brothers from St Philip's. We sang as the sun rose in the sky and listened to the crackle of the fire. Bonaparte and Nelson sneakily removed sticks from the pile and dropped them at our feet whilst looking wistfully for us to throw them. (They are dogs, by the way) Then it was back to church for bacon rolls and the erection of the 10' daffodil cross in the garden.

An Easter garden was blessed, water was sprinkled copiously, alleluias were belted out and laughter was even heard at the ridiculously bad jokes in my sermon. The children rampaged through the church looking for hidden Easter eggs and simnel cake was scoffed by the grown-ups.

Oh, and the aforementioned Confirmands gave me a most generous gift. What poppets they are.

Not sure how we top it next year...

Now I sleep...

"See! Didn't I tell you she had purple hair!"

On Maundy Thursday we had a visit during our service by a woman with a tale to tell. As the service was underway, one of my little flock sat beside her and listened to her tale of woe. When there was a moment in the service I went over and heard her plea for money but told her she'd have to wait until the end of the service when I could speak to her properly. We shared some soup and bread with her and she left.

She returned on Good Friday just before our 3 hours devotion and we gave her a cup of tea. I explained that we don't give out money but that after the service I would take her shopping for food. She wasn't too happy about that but agreed reluctantly, and said she still needed money for clothes and busfares. I said we could get her clothes and I would give her a busfare.

However, half way through the Stations of the Cross she left. And never returned. Later I discovered that she had asked someone if she could get a drink of water and when she was in the kitchen she stole a purse from someone's handbag.

I don't know how I feel about all this. I knew her story had untruths in it and all my cynical alarm bells were ringing. But in light of our prayers in Holy Week (and indeed all the year round) I could not turn her away. We fed her and gave her shelter and offered more help. And the shopping I would have bought for her certainly would have come to more than the money she stole.

It is a sad story. I am sad that I was cynical and untrusting. I am sad that someone lost their purse. I am sad for this woman who is a troubled soul.

I have come to the conclusion that what clergy most need in Holy Week is a spouse. Someone at home who will rustle up a little snack at odd hours so that you don't faint. Someone who will run a hot bath with nice smelly things at midnight when you have just got home after a long Vigil. And someone who will do the supermarket shop so that there is some food in the house.

What is it about Britten's Missa Brevis that our cathedral thinks we want to hear it every Maundy Thursday? Slight variation in the hymns though this year which made a change. But what on earth was that tune for Of the Glorious Body Telling? I think I got it by verse 5.

Excellent sermon by +Alan Smithson. And I am delighted to hear that he will be settling in St Mark's with us (when he's not elsewhere as retired bishops often are). Of course, this joy has nothing to do with his lovely wife who happens to play the organ. I'm told they do a double-act. I can't wait.

Palm Sunday was a most joyous occasion at St M's with a packed church (69 adults and 11 children). The children led the Liturgy of the Palms and read beautifully. The Passion narrative was moving as ever and we left with no coffee to disturb our mood.

Last night 10 of us gathered in a dark room to watch The Mysteries - a South African company's version of the Chester medieval mystery plays. All were moved (me to tears several times, surprisingly considering I've seen it umpteen times) and we had a good discussion after. If only we could be as unrestrained in our hymn singing on Easter day!

Tonight and tomorrow its candlelit Compline with a wee meditation on Koder's paintings, followed by Confession in the Crypt chapel.

I think Maundy Thursday's marathon is sorted but Good Friday's 3 hours are looming fast and the page is still looking blank. Silence would be good, right?