I have a wireless thingummy bob attached to my computer which allows Son #2 upstairs to receive Broadband. We have had it since we moved in and apart from going off every now and again, it seems to work fine. However, in the past few weeks it has been going off more and more often and now it happens between 5 and 10 times a day (that I know of). This means that I also go offline and have to reset the wee box by unplugging the wire and plugging it back in. This is a flipping nuisance and I am getting fed up. Does anyone know why this is happening? Is it a cheap wireless thingummy that causes it?

Guess what I found at the bottom of the garden today? Fairies? Another shrine to Our Lady? A tidy garage?

No! I found rhubarb today. Lovely red rhubarb. Stacks of it all ready to pick and stew and now I am happy.

I did once mention in a sermon that I was fond of rhubarb and the good folk of Linlithgow kept leaving me some on my doorstep. You know who you are! I even got some cuttings but they didn't do very well before I left. Of course they could be thriving now just in time for the next rector.

I have come to the conclusion that in future when I buy courgettes and other green vegetables I shall bring them home and put them straight in the bin. This will save space in my fridge, because they all end up in the bin anyway once they have turned to an unattractive brown sludge.

Oooh, there's nothing quite warms your heart as much as turning on the radio for the Morning Service only to hear Sweet Sacrament Divine being sung. Such joy indeed.

Which reminds me we must get new hymn books at St Mark's...

Margaret Silf has written some excellent books on Ignatian Spirituality. All of her books are easy to read and offer insights into the big questions which we wrestle with from time to time. Some are books to be read and worked through, even in a group. Others are books to pick up and dip into and you will always find something of worth. And I wouldn't be without her 'One Hundred Wisdom Stories' as a preaching resource.

'On Making Choices' is a little book to help us learn to choose well. It aims to make the process less stressful, more focused and more fruitful. She draws on the wisdom of ancient spiritual traditions along with common sense of the 21st century to offer suggestions, not rules, to encourage us to trust the processes of our own heart and mind when making decisions which affect us.

It is a book of bullet points (although there are none in the book!), of short snappy phrases to guide you through the processes. There is no mention of God which surprised me, but nonetheless it is a book which could be used for any decisions, spiritual or otherwise. I read it in an hour or so but then I was not using it as it is intended. It is a book to have beside you with a pad and pen when you are faced with making a choice, or a difficult decision.

Happy St Mark's Day! It is our patronal festival today and we had a wonderful celebration tonight. Bishop Douglas came and looked gorgeous in his mitre and cope and preached a stonker of a sermon. The congregation turned out in force, after a little nagging on Sunday, and I was delighted with their support.

I had suggested we had a little cheese and wine party afterwards. St Mark's, of course, don't do things in half measures and we had a glorious spread. Well, it made up for the sandwich lunch at GSO where I was all day for the Mission and Ministry Board.

Lord God, the source of truth and love,
keep us faithful to the apostles' teaching and fellowship,
united in prayer and the breaking of bread,
and one in joy and simplicity of heart,
in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Lovely wedding yesterday where a certain priest from the Glasgow Diocese married a certain English man whom she had met in Canterbury. There were so many clergy at the altar that it looked like a remake of the Men in Black. But Frs D and G looked gorgeous in their copes carrying out 2 bunches of roses at the end. Always the bridesmaid...

The music in church was a little alarming and caused us to jump whenever it started. But the best bit was when the bride's son sneaked behind the altar on a mission and knocked down a very large Easter banner on to the candles burning brightly. Luckily we escaped the towering inferno part of the liturgy but I think it will be inserted into the new Marriage Liturgy at the next revision.

Lots of her congregation were there to share in the nuptuals and then have some cake and pork pies washed down with some vino. I'd heard that the groom is a great Lego fan so was disappointed not to see a Lego bride and groom on top of the cake.

Then some of us headed off to the House for an Art Lover for a lovely reception. If you are in to Charles Rennie Mac then this is the place to visit. The house is a design which he entered for a competition but didn't win, and was built in 1988 in Bellahouston Park.

I had to MC the speeches which were all jolly good. Luckily I didn't steal anyone else's jokes either. The local undertaker, it has to be said, almost brought the house down. Why is it that undertakers have such a good sense of humour?

I did give them some sound advice though:
Never go to bed without making up first
Never try to whistle with jelly tots in your mouth (you had to be there)
Never eat yellow snow.

Nobody seemed to notice my spots except when all my friends came up and said, "Oh Ruth, your spots don't look that bad." The doctor informed me they are not spots - they are a rash. That made me feel so much better. But she was at a loss to explain them. Could be stress, virus or allergy. Of course they are not so bad this morning but it does still feel like a horror story in braille.

So, all in all, it was a lovely day. May God bless them and keep them safe.

I have a rash. On my face. And my neck. It started with one spot near my ear and now its spread over half my face. It is not a good look. Applying make-up is like trowelling filler on the surface of the moon and about as effective. It did not fool anyone either. I have been told there is chicken pox about. I think its just plain pox. My children will not kiss me.

Tomorrow I have a wedding to attend at which I was to be MC. As attention seeking goes it was going to be pretty valuable. For once in my life I am of the opinion that I do not want to seek attention.

I shall have to wear a bag over my head. A hat just won't be enough. Unless it had a veil. Or maybe I shall wear a mantilla. I do have a selection and one is purple with dangly beads. Perfect.

Can't you wait for the photos?

Oh what unremitting joy indeed. How lovely it is to find a Lindt chocolate bunny on the Saturday after Easter which you had bought for your son and hidden in the wardrobe then remembered that he doens't eat dairy products and you went out and got him nuts instead.

The bunny is mine now.

Last day of my Easter holiday and I am about to go and pick up childrens' liturgy books from Cornerstone, photocopy pew sheets for tomorrow, write a sermon and so it goes on. It really doesn't work as a holiday when you don't have the Sunday off!

But here is our garden at church looking gorgeous and Eastery. Alleluia indeed.

Lovely funeral this morning for a Portobello worthie. She was a leading light in the swimming world which I guess was the favourite pastime for all folk from Portie.

Anyway, after the funeral we all headed in to our cars to go to the cemetary. It was my first time so I followed the hearse taking one or two neighbours with me. And we drove the whole way at about 10mph. This did not please the white van driver behind me. But it did allow me to hear more stories on the long journey from said neighbours about the deceased, which was nice.

The sun shone and she now rests in peace.

Oh, and I met my first woman undertaker. And why not?

I took my car through the car wash yesterday. First time since I moved back to Edinburgh and long overdue. Especially as I live opposite a gentleman who polishes his gorgeous Jag almost every day. I even treated it to a wax and blow-dry. Now I can hold my head up in the community, I thought.

Ha! Last night as I sat amidst the smell of lilies watching a little TV (well, the Manchester Passion actually) there was a thwack at the window. I looked out to see four youths running like hell in the opposite direction. On closer inspection there appeared to be copious quantities of egg and shell running down my front window. So I had to get the mop and bucket out to clean it off before it became like glue and started to pong more than the lilies.

Of course what I didn't do was check out the car sitting in the drive. This morning I noticed that it too has suffered from the japes of those hilarious youngsters. So now I am going to have to go back to the car wash and start all over again. Bah.

Finally got around to watching the latest offering today as I'm supposed to be on holiday. When my boys were young we had a betamax video of the cartoon version and we must have watched it a hundred times or more. And I think I maybe preferred it to this new one. I didn't really like the children very much, except for Lucy who was quite engaging.

I also managed to get some housework done, a good clear up of the study which has suffered over the past few weeks, and started reading Labyrinth by Kate Mosse- my first fiction for six weeks.

Tomorrow it's time to clear out mum's house.

Wow! What an Easter! What a host of Alleluias!

It all began on the beach at 7am when some of us joined a group from St Philip's to sing round the new fire. My wise virgins had brought their lamps and we took the light back to St Mark's... very carefully.

We had bacon rolls, nearly set fire to the kitchen, and then inserted the 5 wounds into the Paschal candle and said a wee prayer as we were joined by the 8.30am gang.

In between services I hid some easter eggs round the church which was hotting up nicely and there was some concern that they may melt by the time the children came to hunt for them.

By 10.30am the church was full of the usual folk, some visitors, some once-a-year folk, Sheila and Ernie Cox (ex-flock) and a host of children. We sang the Exsultet together at the Paschal candle and blessed the Easter Garden.

We sang joyfully our new mass setting (Raemoir) and managed to do a pretty good job of it, despite our fears. And having the church so full added energy and joy to the Easter hymns.

At the end the children came up to show us their decorated eggs and I donned my bunny ears and hopped around the sanctuary. I fear I may have looked more like a demented kangaroo than the Easter bunny but it's the thought that counts.

Then we all enjoyed a Bucks Fizz and simnel cake.

Now that's what I call a celebration. He is risen indeed!

Son #2 got me the best Easter pressie. No eggs for me - oh no! I got an Answer Me Jesus. He is pink and quite creepy looking, but if you ask him a question and turn him over you get an answer. How clever is that? Here are some of our answers - but I'm not revealing the questions.

I died for this?
I still love you.
Hypocrite!
Ye of little faith.
Let me ask my Dad.
Yes, my child.
Pray harder.
Resist the devil.

It is over, complete, accomplished.

We have walked the Stations of the Cross and sung the Passiontide hymns.

We have listened to the Seven Last Words and contemplated what they mean for us.

We have seen the nail driven in to the Cross.

We have eaten Hot Cross Buns together.

And tonight we have said Compline around the cross of candles as we held our cross of nails.

Yes, I know it's only 10.48pm and I should be sitting in church waiting and watching and praying...

Tonight was glorious, even if I do say so myself. My altar servers coped wonderfully with all the extra bits after only one rehearsal last night.

We sang, we prayed, we listened to scripture, I washed feet (and hands - yes, I know!) and kissed them, we ate an agape meal and talked about chiropodists and other holy things, we listened to John 17, then we walked back to the sanctuary and carried on, we stripped the altar, and carried Jesus to the Garden of Repose - all twinkling lights and white flowers. And we prayed. And watched.

Then when the last person had left my faithful server and I cleared it all away and left the church bare and empty ready for tomorrow.

Stations of the Cross at 12 noon, a meditation written by Sheila Love, and then meditations on the Seven last Words with music by Haydn. Hot cross buns to follow. All welcome.
Oh, and Compline at 7pm.

At the cathedral this morning for the Chrism Mass and compare bags under eyes and horror stories of Holy Week catastrophes with other clergy. My numbers at Compline though stood me in good stead and I was able to hold my head high as we processed in to our seats. I had presuaded some of my lay ministry team and other Thursday morning-ers to come to this service and they did and happened to be sitting in the row behind me which was nice.

As the service began I thought to myself that it all seemed very familiar. On looking back at a service sheet from 3 years ago I see that yes, indeed, we did sing those exact same hymns. And I still don't know why Alleluia sing to Jesus is in amongst them. The choir sang Britten's Missa Brevis which if I'm not mistaken was last year's offering too. But it was Leighton in 2003. Oh for a little F'n Darke or Mozart.

However, there was one big change this year. Deacons were used in their proper places. Yippee! A deacon read the gospel and many did the chalices, and brought the oils forward. So it seems that my comments last year did not fall on deaf ears.

Then after lunch it was a mad dash across town and into church to create a little Garden of Repose. Not quite how I wanted it but I just didn't have all the stuff I needed to get different levels. Now I pray that its still in place when we get back tonight and that it all gets lit and doesn't burst into flames.

We're in for a long haul over the next few days. But what fun - misery.

Eighteen for Compline by candlelight tonight. The circle just gets bigger every night.

Thanks to Son #2 who ordered three books from my Amazon Wish List and got them for me as a belated Mothering Sunday pressie.

I've given up reading fiction this Lent (and trashy magazines so can't wait till Easter Monday when I can go out and buy Hello!) Luckily none of the books he bought me are fiction so if I have a spare moment between now and then I shall be dipping in to:

Does God have a Big Toe? by Marc Gellman and Oscar de Mejo
Making Choices by Margaret Silf
The Assassin's Cloak (An anthology of the World's Greatest Diarists) Edited by Irene and Alan Taylor

Didn't manage to get over to see Dad till tonight for his birthday, and just missed the rest of the family by 5 minutes. But he was delighted, as ever, with his gift of gin and fags. He's so easily pleased!

Took in Mum's eulogy which had to be severely curtailed at the Crem because we were late. He enjoyed reading it and we had a look at some old photos too. He could remember lots of people in them that I didn't know. Mind you he couldn't remember what my sister had given him 10 minutes earlier! Ah the joys of dementia!

13 for Compline tonight. Word must be spreading. It's THE place to be in Portie this Holy Week.

During Holy Week we, at St Mark's, are having Compline by candlelight at 7pm every night.

Last night we had a whiff of incense (Basilica) and I handed out nails made into a cross for people to hold. We numbered 10 which I thought was jolly good and it was a lovely prayerful service.

What's that I see in the greenhouse at the bottom of my garden?
Could it be the Blessed Virgin Mary and St Francis of Assisi?

Now don't all rush at once.

Palm Sunday today. Hosanna and all that jazz! I have learned that it is not easy to march about church waving palms and sprinkling holy water and the like when you have a bad cold and cough with asthma to boot. I could hardly speak in some bits I was so short of breath, which might have been a blessing. But we had a great turn out and lots of children.

No sermon today, but we did have the dramatic reading of the Passion according to Mark. And what a devout lot we are at St Mark's - it looked to me like everyone stood for it all. No slouchers here!

A word of warning to other clergy out there... Mission Praise doesn't quite have All Glory Laud and Honour quite right in their wee hymn book. Somehow I ended up being the only person valiantly singing the chorus after each 4 lines. Well, I say 'singing' but it was more like a breathless groan from the depths of my soul.

Then after we had Hosanna'd ourselves silly, we had a practice of our new mass setting which will start on Easter Day. We are going to use the New Raemoir Mass which is lovely and celtic-sounding. Some folk have been listening to it on CD over the past few weeks and I think that made a difference. If we can stick to just the melody line for a wee while I think we'll all be fine.

I came across this prayer on another website and I offer it to all clergy out there preparing for Holy Week:

Parish secretaries and their rectors, too,

Thinking of the bulletins that will ensue,

Drop to their knees and begin to quake,

Praying their copiers will stay awake

Through Maundy Thursday and the rest;

Without behaving as if possessed.

Rectors wonder with uncertainty,

“Should I have purchased the extended warranty?”

Misfeeds, toner woes and a paper jam

Always seem to accompany the Paschal Lamb.

Why this happens is a great unknown,

A mystery worthy of the bishop’s throne.

So stoke the incense, say your prayers;

anything to stave off copier repairs.

As the dark shadows of Tenebrae now approach;

may your copier behave without reproach.

And as we begin the Good Friday fast,

May it wait ‘til Low Sunday to breathe its last.

Probably the most difficult thing I've had to do in my few years of ministry was my mum's funeral yesterday. But amid the prayers and support of so many friends and family, near and far, we managed to give her a great send off. Fr K stood by me 'just in case' and helped with readings and prayers and with only a few pauses for deep breaths, I made it through. Son No 1 read a wonderful poem - I'd pick more daisies - and looked so smart that she would have been proud.

Mum was a great hoarder and we have found copious quantities of letters and cards sent to her by us through the years. I made up a photograph album of her life and took it with us to the bun fight after the funeral. It was a great way to find out who some of the people were in the photographs and share some memories.

One of the nicest things to have come out of this awful time has been that we have become closer to my sister and her family. Just what Mum wanted.