Had a great night last night at St C's where we had our singalong the Sound of Music. Nobody dressed up which was a pity, but I did go as the mountain! Mind you, it was a lot longer than I remembered (nearly 3 hours) and I am convinced that when it's on TV it is edited a bit.

And now I shall be singing the songs all day long. But what great songs.

Two AGMs over and done with now. One at St P's last week, and then St C's today, and they both went very well - and very rapidly. I was saying that people probably have no idea of the angst that clergy go through before an AGM. Will someone stand up and complain about the liturgy or preaching or how much we spent on candles? We had a trial period of changing the service times around which seemed to bring a lot of discontent, but not a peep even about that. So I can breathe a sigh of relief now that it is all over.

Until next year and a new church... of course!

Went to see Brokeback Mountain with a friend, expecting great things. Was sadly disappointed. Not sure what I expected but certainly more than we got. Came to the conclusion that maybe it is very radical in the USA, but not so here. However, it was quite sweet but not a big weepy, and the countryside was nice if you like that kind of thing. And one of the lead actors didnt have particularly good diction and I found him hard to understand. Or maybe that's my age.

Each week, after our morning Eucharist at St C's, John and I go out the back door for a smoke. He with his pipe and me with my fag. We share our thoughts on the weather, on jokes John has heard in the pub (most unsuitable for sermon material!), on how he got on at the bookies this week, on family worries, on politics, on anything really. Today John said, "You'll never forget your first Charge, Ruth." And I agreed. It is really in your first charge that you become a priest. You may be ordained during your curacy but it is not until you are out on your own that you actually function as a priest.

Then he said the sweetest thing. He said that he had learned more about his faith since I had been there for the past three and a half years. And then he said that the thing he had enjoyed most was when I introduced Stations of the Cross during Holy Week. John is in his 70's. He hopes that the next priest will keep this tradition going. I hope so too.

Today is Burn's day and I have been listening to one of my favourite CDs - Eddi Reader Sings the Songs of Robert Burns. I've always liked her voice and when I first heard a track from this record on the radio I knew that I had to have it. It's one of those records that you want to give to everyone you know and then pray that they love it as much as you do.

There is one track on the CD which is not written by Burns. It is Wild Mountainside by John Richard Douglas who plays for a band called The Trashcan Sinatras. It is a homecoming song and quite beautiful. It reminds me of certain parish trips down south and the nonsense we used to have in the bus as we reached the border of Scotland on the way home. Oh how we laughed.

I watched Gay Muslims last night on TV and my heart went out to them. My goodness, gay Christians may have a hard time but who'd be a gay Muslim? And again it seems to come down to interpretation, in this case of the Koran. Their stories will stay with me for a long time.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Mum is out of hospital and back with my sister. Her blood transfusion seems to have helped and she has a bit more energy and colour in her cheeks. She is even managing to crack a few jokes about her funeral which I think the nurses are finding a bit hard to understand. We now await an appointment with the oncologist.

We have brought her dog, Jack, back to stay here for the meantime, and maybe permanently. He has just had a haircut and is all white and fluffy with a naked face which makes him look quite different. I must admit to preferring him when he is a bit scruffy.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

It't that time again. St C's are hosting the big ecumenical service on Sunday in Bathgate so I have spent the last few hours trying to put a wee sermon together. This year the text has been chosen by Irealnd and they have opted for Matthew 18:15-22 on the theme of forgiveness. Their wee bookie is full of 'celtic' prayers and biddings to be used.

Last year, or maybe it was 2 years ago, I took some of my little flock to Bishop's House on Iona for a retreat. One day we looked at celtic prayer and all had a go at writing some. I came across the book today that we made up after the retreat and was delighted at the standard of writing. There were some really good prayers in it. Frankly, I think some of ours were even better than the ones in the CTBI resource book.

Some, on the other hand, were more lighthearted. Here is one from Bill:

Help me create, do things in threes.
See our Lord God in flowers and trees.
Pray to Him daily on my old knees.

Bless all around me, give me your truth.
Bless our dear vicar, the Reverend Ruth.
Bless her and keep her in eternal youth.

I know that you cannot accomplish all this.
At least let her continue in unbridled bliss.
Send down your angels to give her a kiss.

Aww!

Today mum had her appointment with the consultant who did her operation. She received the very worst news that someone can get and is understandably upset. Her health has deteriorated over the past few days so they have kept her in hospital to give her a blood transfusion to see if that will help.

I was with her all day at the hospital, feeling completely useless and really unable to say any 'comforting' words. There is no comfort at a time like this. All you can do is hold someone. And pray.

I love handbags. Most of my handbags used to be black, but now that purple is in fashion I have managed to acquire a small selection to match my fondness for purple clothing. As a result I have decided to flog all my old handbags before I move, along with all the other things I don't want to move with me to the new Rectory.

But I am afraid that it won't be long before I have added to my more manageable pile of handbags. Not since I heard about http//www.nativebynative.co.uk where you can buy handbags made from recycled plastic. Four years ago an Indian couple set up an NGO for rag-pickers, the poorest of Delhi's poor. They discovered that coloured plastic bags could be sewn together and heated to form a single sheet of tough, leathery plastic. They now employ 300 rag-pickers and machinists to make ecologically sound handbags which are sold all over the world.

And some of them are purple. How cool is that?

(Source: The Week Issue 545)

Trying out a new look on the old blog. This one is seasonal which is okay, and it looks vaguely purple which is even better.

I've not been very good at blogging this week. Partly this has been because of feeling pretty grotty with bronchitis and heaving asthma, but now that I am on the steroids and antibiotics I think it is on the mend.

But can anyone medical out there explain to me why I have to take 8 steroid tablets every day? Why can't they make one tablet eight times stronger?

And having to remember to take an antibiotic one hour before I eat four times a day is no fun. Will they not work if I have a sneaky eccles cake mid morning? And do Jakeman's Chest and Throat lozenges count as eating?

On Monday night I watched the first part of a series in which Richard Dawkins assaults faith and belief. I was so insensed when I was watching it that I ended up yelling at the TV on more than one occasion. (This may be the cause of the lost voice!) And i did intend blogging about it but forgot. However, it is still simmering away nicely so I think I shall indeed air a few points.

It seemed to be mainly Christianity that was the focus for his caustic commentary, most of which was not used in dialogue thus depriving anyone of the right to reply. And what examples of Christianity did he use? Roman Catholic pilgrims at Lourdes, a tour guide in the Holy Land and a Southern evangelical pastor. Oh yes, Richard! They are really good representatives of the Christian faith. The implication of it all was that all Christians believe that God created the world in seven days and ignore scientific evidence that the world has been around for some considerable time prior to that.

Let's hope that in the second part he actually invites an intellectual equal to take on the debate. Otherwise it will be merely cheap journalism at its very worst.

One of my little flock very kindly shared her cough with me last week and now I sound a bit like Eartha Kitt on crack. It sounds weird to my ears to have this very deep voice coming out of my mouth when I speak. This morning, just before presiding at the Holy Mysteries, Mimi gave me a Jakeman's Chest and Throat lozenge and it did the trick. Boy, do you know it's doing you good! And it lasted all the way through the service. Yes, I know you purists are throwing your hands up in horror and getting your birettas in a twist, but remember 'medicine' is allowed before Mass. And these definitely taste like medicine. They also made the Blood of Christ taste rather peculiar too. I have been and treated myself to a quarter (or whatever the metric equivalent is) of Jakeman's for myself and shall sook away this afternoon wondering who Jakeman was.

Oh how I wish Mary P could arrive right now with her carpet-bag and brolly and sort out my Study. The move is imminent but the mess isn't getting any better. If anything, it gets worse as I empty files from one place and lay them on the floor until I can find a suitable place for them to go to. Mary P could just swish her whatever and all the files would be in the right places, named and in order, and all the rubbish would be shredded and out in the recycle bin, and all the books would be put away in boxes according to subject.

And what do you leave behind for the next lucky priest in charge? Another thing they didn't teach us at Tisec! Will s/he care about all the meetings and old accounts and Vestry away days and stewardship campaigns and such like? All those things that were so important at the time and caused such angst? Should I just bin them or leave them in a file marked 'For your information'? I guess all I can do is file them according to what I would have liked to have known when I first came here.

Mum is still with my sister, improving a little day by day. The nurses come in every day to sort her dressing (her wound is still open) and check her blood and sugar levels. It has been a struggle to get her to eat but that seems to be getting a little better.

Her GP came in today for a check up and told her that she had spoken to the Consultant who did the op. He has been off sick and that is why nobody has spoken to her or us. Would have been nice to be told. They still don't know where the primary site of the cancer is, but it could be the pancreas. There were cancer cells around the intestine and the outer case was affected and has been removed. They appear to have been causing the blockage in her bowel but that may not be the primary site. It should take another 7 days for those results.

And it seems that she could be offered chemo, although we had been told before that her heart wouldn't stand it. Lots of conflicting stuff around so I guess we wait and speak to the specialist. It just takes so long. Mum is taking it all very well though and says that as long as she doesn't have pain she will try anything.

G made me watch this movie which he was raving about, called the City of Lost Children. It was French and very weird. Beautiful cinematography, surreal images, and lots to wonder about. It reminded me of something else but I can't think what.

Lord God of the nations,
we have seen the star of your glory rising in splendour.
The radiance of your incarnate Word
pierces the darkness that covers the earth
and signals the dawn of peace and justice.
Make radiant the lives of your people
with that same brightness,
and beckon all the nations to walk as one in your light.
We ask this through Jesus Christ, your Word made flesh,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
in the splendour of eternal light,
God for ever and ever. Amen.

(From Opening Prayers: Collects in Contemporary Language - Canterbury Press 2001)

Read in last week's Church Times...

A vicar announced to his congregation that he was leaving the parish - "not because I am in dispute with the wardens, or at loggerheads with the organist." Far from it. "I am going because Jesus called me here, and he is now calling me somewhere else."

As he sat down, the curate announced the final hymn, which was sung with extraordinary gusto: 'What a friend we have in Jesus.'

It would appear that my mum is being released into the care of the community (or rather, my sister) today. She does have an infected wound which they say will be better treated by District Nurses. The violent diarrhoea which has persisted for 10 days is due to the laxative they have given her every morning. I am dumbfounded at this. How on earth did nobody notice this before today? And she has been told that her histology results may not be back until the end of January. I am on the case!

Blimey! Woke this morning to find another corpse. Peanut butter is obviously irresistible to mice. L kindly came round and disposed of them for me and reset the traps.

St Francis ora pro nobis.

Thanks for the tip on melted chocolate, Kelvin. That reminded me that someone once said that mice like peanut butter so we slopped some of that on at 7pm and by 9.30pm we have our first casualty.

Of course I am too squeamish to dispose of his body so I await the assistance of L tomorrow morning. I shall recite the Nunc Dimitis. It's the least I can do.

G & L loaned me 2 mouse-traps last night along with some toasted cheese. "Yum yum," said the mouse/mice. "We like toasted cheese. But was the contraption meant to do something?" (It didn't)

Happy New Year to one and all in blogland. May yer lum reek.