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Archives for: November 2005

NHS musings

by revruth @ 2005-11-30 - 22:38:28

Mum was taken into hospital this morning. She spent the first part of the day on a chair in the Assessment Centre because there wasn't a bed. She was freezing cold and exhausted but couldn't sleep on the chair. By the time I got there at 3.30pm all she had had was one cup of tea and a sandwich. She was dehydrated and had a drip but desperately thirsty and we had to beg for a cup of water. The young doctor took a whole medical history from her in the presence of me and another stranger who was sitting next to us listening in. Then she had a rather intimate examination behind a screen in a corner of the reception area with little privacy.

She has been admitted to a ward which only opened last night for winter. They had one nurse on duty and a student. The toilet was filthy and there was something soiled lying in the shower area. Nobody has washed their hands yet. She has to take insulin before she eats but they couldnt find any, nor a finger pricking thing to check her level. It took almost 45 minutes to get a nurse to unhook her from the drip to go to the toilet. And the alarm went off on the drip every five minutes and then it took about 15 minutes for the same nurse to come in and reset it. Mum wants to go home.

The thing is... there is no point in complaining to the poor nurse who is overworked and underpaid. They shouldn't have opened the ward with insufficient staff. I've heard lots of good things about the new RIE, but this is not boding well.

Tip of the Week

by revruth @ 2005-11-29 - 11:15:40

How to get fit for skiing...

Place a scarf flat on the ground in a straight line. Stand with your feet together on one side of the scarf. Jump over the scarf sideways and then back, keeping your feet and knees together and your knees bent. Repeat 30 times.

(Tip from The Week, Issue 539)

Then bend down and pick up all the ornaments that fell off the mantlepiece. And get out the Polyfilla to cover all the cracks in the walls and ceiling.

Pride comes before a fall

by revruth @ 2005-11-27 - 17:28:26

Oh dear! I thought I was all organised for Advent but sadly I was greatly mistaken. I arrived laden with bags and so pleased that I seemed to have remembered everything. But there was always that niggling thought at the back of my mind that something was missing. Then just as the service was about to begin I saw what it was...

No prayer for lighting the first Advent candle. Usually I print something out on the pew sheet but I had forgotten. What did it say? No idea. My mind was blank. I dashed over to a friendly Bishop who happened to be in the congregation and asked him for advice. He suggested I look up a Prayer Book. No prayer books in St C's but there was a weekday missal. So while I was scrabbling for some Advent collect to use, the said Bishop appeared at the Vestry door with a hymn book in his hands. He had found a lovely wee hymn (No 399 in Complete Anglican Hymns Old & New - 'Like a candle flame...') which was just perfect. Which is why he is a bishop.

Advent! I am ready for you!

by revruth @ 2005-11-26 - 18:40:46

Busy morning at Linlithgow with our Advent Fayre as well as the town's. Frank came along to play carols on his whatsisname (large wooden box with strings which you hit with 2 sticks) and Susan bought me a Drattit Doll which apparantly you wallop when you are frustrated and shout "Drat it!" It has purple hair and will be well-used, I'm sure.

I also found five religious Advent calendars in our new Fair Trade shop (with Divine chocolate in them too). But we may have more than five children tomorrow at our Family service so I hunted some more and found some gorgeous Medici ones in the Book Shop with Our Lady resplendent on the front. No chocolate in them though. I bought all their stock of them and will leave them all to fight it out tomorrow. I also found a gorgeous one for me by Andy Warhol.

Now if I can just finish my sermon we will be all organised...

St Andrew's Night is cancelled

by revruth @ 2005-11-25 - 15:59:23

We were going to have a good old knees up tonight at B'gate with pies and peas and bevvie or two, but no more. Due to bad weather it has been cancelled.

Does this mean its pie and peas with our coffee after church on Sunday?

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

by revruth @ 2005-11-25 - 13:39:23

Day off today and I was going to start some Christmas shopping and then head over to Bathgate for our St Andrew's ceilidh. Now I'm not so sure...

Book review

by revruth @ 2005-11-24 - 17:49:48

Finally finished reading Catscape by Mike Nicholson. Mike worked with me at the Rock Trust and is a member of P's & G's and won the Kelpie's Prize this year at the Edinburgh Book Festival with this first novel.

It is a children's book set in Stockbridge, Edinburgh where Mike lives and is about the adventures of two little boys and an old lady. It involves missing cats and a watch that goes backwards, and is a great read.

When I was little I loved reading Enid Blyton and wanted to be one of the Famous Five or Secret Seven. This book took me back to those halcyon days and I loved the fact that an old lady was the hero of the hour with her karate kicks.

A good Scottish book, with humour and surprises on every page.

Farewell to the Provost

by revruth @ 2005-11-24 - 12:34:28

Last night was the farewell party to Bruce who has just given up being Provost of L'gow. Friends gathered from as far as North Berwick to eat, drink, be merry (and sad) and sing as many laments as could be found.

Bruce did a great job as Provost and threw himself into it with gusto: visiting schools; several trips to our twin town Gyancourt; and added much merriment to Marches Day and all his other civic duties. I'm sure he will miss it but will be glad to have his diary back once more for other things.

Bruce loves Linlithgow and it shows in his commitment to the community. I love it too and will be sorry to leave.

Lo! He comes but I'm not ready

by revruth @ 2005-11-22 - 18:52:18

Oh Lord! Advent Sunday approaches and there is so much to do. Change of liturgy (we are moving the Confession to after the Intercessions for a wee change; and the dreaded 'modern' Lord's Prayer; St Anne's mass setting which should put a smile on some faces as they hide the St Thomas one in the back of the cupboard) and Advent wreaths to worry about and candles to order. Better let the eight organist/musicians know about the changes.

End of Year Returns to worry about which apparantly are to be done electronically but as yet nothing has appeared through the ether.

I usually give all the children an Advent calendar but forgot to pre-order and of course now there is not a religious one to be found for love nor money. Will have to think of something else.

Family service on Sunday so that means a children's sermon which always takes me longer to prepare.

Oh, and the small matter of the St Andrew's night ceilidh at St C's on Friday night - all welcome - and the St P's Advent Fayre on Saturday morning - all welcome.

And let's not forget the Vestry meeting tonight, a night out tomorrow, and the first CMD 1-3 session on Thursday in Edinburgh.

O come, O come, Emmanuel - but just hang on until I'm ready, please.

Big Sing and things

by revruth @ 2005-11-21 - 19:22:58

Last night at St P's we had a Big Sing and it was wonderful. Stuart Muir and others from Dundee Cathedral came along and introduced us to some wonderful new Advent and Christmas songs and hymns. He also managed to get our little Clavinova to sound like nothing on earth - what a gifted man he is. It was great to have our little church fill to the domed roof with music sung in harmony. Perfect to get you in the mood for Advent.

Excellent Clergy Conference last week with Canon Anne Dyer (more women please!) and then a few days off. Sadly this was marred slightly by awful toothache but today the offending article was removed. I'm sure I read somewhere that models get their back teeth removed to give them more pronounced cheekbones. It doesn't appear to have worked for me. Wouldn't you know it?

Clergy Conference

by revruth @ 2005-11-14 - 13:44:34

Off to the clergy conference today...

Babette's Feast

by revruth @ 2005-11-12 - 14:41:08

Finally I got around to watching Babette's Feast yesterday on DVD. What a treat. Now I see why everybody raves about it. A meal of grace, indeed.

Babette's meal is a means of grace, just like the sacrament of the eucharist. For some the eucharist may have become a routine ritual, but for those open to the movements of divine grace it can be an occasion of reconciliation and renewal.

"Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you."
Ephesians 4:31-32

We remember

by revruth @ 2005-11-11 - 11:43:59

They shall grow not old
as we that are left grow old;
age shall not weary them,
nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun
and in the morning,
we will remember them.
We will remember them.

When you go home
tell them of us and say,
for your tomorrow we gave our today.

Equal opportunities for cheerleaders

by revruth @ 2005-11-10 - 15:14:51

Went to speak to S3 at B'gate Academy this morning. Their RE teacher is one of my little flock and had asked me to go along and talk about equality in the church.

So I spoke about the ordination of women, gender stereotypes, and whether there was equality now or not. When I asked them what they thought my job entailed I was met with a deafening silence. Not sure whether this was because they really had no idea what a priest might get up to during the day, or whether they just didn't care. Reluctantly they did suggest I might take services and visit. I enlightened them!

We agreed that women make good priests and all jobs should be open to women or men. Except for weightlifting and cheerleading apparantly. I said I'd quite enjoy watching men leaping about in short shorts but I think I was alone. And I also offered the opinion that I wasnt keen on anybody weightlifting, but it seems that muscly men are cool. Oh well, each to their own.

I don't seem to remember anyone giving us careers guidance on either cheerleading or weightlifting. But then again, there was no sign of the church either.

Lunch date

by revruth @ 2005-11-09 - 17:31:35

Lunch today with the L'gow clergy. In the first ten minutes we had managed to cover the topics of religion, sex and politics. After that it just sort of descending into bad puns and laughter. Pity I had to leave to go to the dentist.

Sermon preached on Sunday 6 November 2005

by revruth @ 2005-11-07 - 13:51:00

This Sunday I had a break from preaching, and Bruce Jamieson, our local historian, took the lectern between his hands and delivered the following excellent homily:

The last time I brought my granddaughter Eve to Church she went off to the children’s library and came back with three books- the stories of David and Goliath; Daniel in the Lions’ Den and Jonah and the Whale. After I had read them to her, she looked up at me and said “Grumps! There aren’t many girls in these stories.”
Out of the mouths of babes and children.

I said ‘can you see any girls in the church?’ And she pointed to Ruth – our priest in charge- and secondly at the two ladies in the stained glass windows above the altar.

She likes Ruth – she keeps talking about the smiley lady in the church – like the one on television. I think she means the Vicar of Dibley – and I know Ruth is growing tired of the allusion - she has been compared to the Rev. Geraldine Grainger too often for her liking.

But it is the TV comedy series I like best. My favourite character is local squire David Horton, perhaps because like him – I am a somewhat pompous, grumpy, unemotional character who initially had some reservations about having a woman as my spiritual guardian.

I also like the incomprehensible Jim Trott and the straight-talking land worker, Owen. Can you not just hear them discussing this morning’s gospel reading? “Where would you rather be, Jim- in the bright light with the five wise virgins- or in the dark with five foolish virgins?” The reply would be unrepeatable here.

Incidentally, the church used in the filming of the series ("St Barnabas") was actually the Church of St Mary The Virgin in Weston Turville, near Stoke Mandeville. The Priest-in-Charge is actually a man: Father David Wales, although his Curate and Director of Music is the Revd Susan Fellows. I wonder what she looks like?

I like the Vicar of Dibley too for it’s bite; the fact that it often makes very revealing and salient points. It may seem at first sight like a cosy, inoffensive sitcom, but Dawn French has revealed that as a result of appearing in the show, she has received a huge volume of hate mail: mostly from male clergymen. And the sitcom was 'extremely political' when it first aired, as the week it first appeared, in March 1994, was the exact moment when the ordination of women in the Church of England first began.

These were Christian people, using appalling language and telling Miss French where to shove it, basically. I won’t begin to tell you what her mailbag was like the week after her Christmas specials which featured gay priests and a drunken minister falling out of the pulpit and down the altar steps. Can you imagine that- falling down the altar steps! (note from Ruth – I fell down the altar steps last Christmas eve, hit my head off a pillar and had to get 8 staples to put me back together!)

What about Eve’s other two ladies in the stained glass windows above the altar. She looked at them for some time and said: ”I like her best – she has got a little boy”: and she pointed to Saint Margaret on the left of the triptych. Who is she? she asked.

That was a hard one. I mean, I have written widely on the subject of Saint Margaret – I preached a sermon on her once in St Peter’s. I wrote a play about her: starring our own Judy Barker. But how do you make all that information accessible to a four year old?

She was a Queen, I began.

A wicked queen? ventured Eve- whose knowledge of Queens is based on The Little Mermaid; Snow White and Sleeping Beauty.

No, I said- she was a good queen who married Malcolm, the King of Scots He was a very rough, cruel man – and she tried to make him nicer.

Why did she marry him, then? asked Eve, disconcertingly.

I explained as simply as I could that she had been travelling in a boat back from Hungary to England when a huge storm blew up. It drove them off course and she was shipwrecked on the shores of Scotland. King Malcolm had her brought to his castle and he fell in love with her because of her gentleness and desire to help poor people and children.

Did she give that little boy his pretty green shoes? She asked, logically.

I wasn’t sure.

It could be one of her own children, I said – for she had eight: six sons and two daughters. Perhaps it’s David who went on to become one of Scotland’s best kings. She brought him up in simplicity and in accordance with six simple precepts:
If children live with hostility,
they learn to fight.
If children live with encouragement,
they learn confidence.
If children live with praise,
they learn to appreciate.
If children live with fairness,
they learn justice.
If children live with acceptance,
they learn to find love in the world.
If children live with God in their hearts they learn to live for ever.
Or maybe, I ventured, it’s one of the nine orphans she had brought to her every morning in the chapel in Edinburgh castle – the one that’s still there- the one depicted in the stained glass; a place of pilgrimage where the poor would be fed with her own hands - where she washed the feet of lepers; where she read to her illiterate husband - perhaps the very words we heard this morning: words to inspire him to rule like Solomon

‘Resplendent and unfading is Wisdom, and she is readily perceived by those who love her, and found by those who seek her.’

In addition to her influence with her husband and her sons, Margaret took a direct role in helping the people of Scotland. She devoted time and money to works of charity, assisting the poor, the aged, orphans, and the sick. A mere woman – a medieval, insignificant female who took money out of the royal treasury for her charities? Who prevented a schism between the Roman Church and the Celtic Church, which had been cut off from Rome. Who introduced European culture to Scotland, and did so much more successfully than the forceful introduction in England under the Normans? Who elevated the people among whom it was her destiny to live and eliminated so much barbarism in the land? Who tried to get rid of so many abuses in the Church, calling together hundreds of native clergy and priests her husband acting as interpreter, and addressing them so well and so earnestly that all were charmed with her gracious demeanor and wise counsel and adopted all her suggestions? Who re-founded the monastery on the Island of Iona and built a church in Dunfermline, dedicating it to the Holy Trinity and personally equipping it with all the ornaments that a church requires? Who set up a workshop in her own rooms where artisans produced choir capes, sacerdotal vestments, stoles, and embroidered altar clothes? Who provided rest homes in South Queensferry and free passage by ship across the Queen’s ferry so that pilgrims could visit the shrine of St Andrew? Who liberated many captives taken by her husband in war?

A mere woman? I think not.

And who is the other female character – the lady on the left: the day to Margaret’s night; the moon to her sun; the yin to Margaret’s yang- the contemplative mystic- as opposed to the realistic woman of action?
She is Mildred, the beautiful daughter of King Merewald of Magonset and his wife, St. Ermenburga. She was sent, at an early age, to be educated at Chelles in France, a kind of saintly finishing school for young ladies- the St George’s of the Paris Region.
The headmistress was the grim Etheria- the Abbess of Chelles. She was approached by a male relative who insisted that he wanted to marry the gorgeous Mildred. The abbess tried to persuade her, but Mildred said her mother had sent her there to be taught to give herself to God, not to be married to a mere man. Etheria’s further entreaties fell on deaf ears and in a last desperate effort, the wicked headmistress forced Mildred into a huge oven (as one does) in which she had made a great fire.
Mildred was left at regulo mark 9 for three hours. Eventually, the doors were opened and everyone expected to find little other than bones, burnt to ashes.
Instead, out of the makeshift crematorium, came the young saint: unhurt and radiant with joy and beauty. Was the Abbess moved to wonder and remorse? Not on your Nelly. The chroniclers relate that Mildred was thrown on to the kitchen floor where she was kicked and scratched by the furious Etheria.
Not surprisingly, Mildred had had enough of this boarding school life, this medieval Camp Granada, and wrote to her mother asking to be brought home, forthwith. Further force was added to her plea by enclosing in the secretly sent letter, a blood-stained clump of her own hair - torn from her head by the violence of the abbess.
Mildred was duly brought home and eventually installed as an Abbess herself – in Minster in Thanet – where we see her in the picture. What is she thinking about, I wonder? Perhaps the night when, while she was praying in the chapel, the devil blew out her candle, but an angel appeared and drove him away and re-lit it for her.
Later in life, Mildred developed an extremely painful and debilitating disease but refused to let it stop her work. She fought it uncomplainingly to the end. After her death, many remembered her suffering and her patience and she became an extremely popular saint: one who obviously moved Bishop Walpole – whose wife bore the same name- and after whom this church was first named.
Saint Mildred and St Margaret also inspired another woman – the designer of the stained glass window: Miss Joan Howson, daughter of the Archdeacon of Warrington and Professor of Mediaeval Art in Oxford University. Her work also features in many other churches including St Mary Magdalene in Newark, St Catherine’s in Pettaugh (pronounced Petty), Suffolk and All Saints in High Wycombe- where her window depicts St Bridget; Saint Winifred; St Hilda; Elizabeth Fry; Margaret Beaufort and Mary Slessor. Are you catching her drift- her interest in women of inspiring courage?

Joan Howson became an expert in restoring medieval glass, especially that destroyed during the Second World War – perhaps most famously several in the cloisters of Westminster Abbey.

Another esoteric woman, do I hear you say – a reclusive spinster- earnest and holy- don’t you believe it! For Joan Howson spent the First World War nursing in a hospital on the Western Front; she then set up house with her life-long partner Caroline Townshend- who helped her install this window. During World Wear Two, having been bombed out of her own house in Putney, she moved to a large house in North Wales which she ran as a home for children evacuated from Fulham and Liverpool.

She was by all accounts an interesting and charming lady- an expert on the glass work in Chartres Cathedral where she conducted many tours. She died in 1964, aged 79.

I am inspired by her. I am inspired by Margaret and Mildred – I look up at them often during my time in church – as I look at the figure of the crucifed Christ – and the inspiration of a new Jerusalem depicted in the background. I can often relate what is happening around me in church to their inspiration. Like today’s reading of the wise virgins. And I ask myself: How prepared were Margaret and Mildred to serve their master?”

And how prepared am I – how prepared are you? How much are we willing to endure to serve him? How much oil is in my lamp: now- not yesterday – not tomorrow, but today? Can I rely on others to lend me some oil – can they be prepared on my behalf: can others do the praying for me. I don’t think so – if I have got the parable correct. Preparedness is not transferable.

And if I read the words of the Letter to the Thessalonians correctly, I will meet Margaret and Mildred one day. If I am prepared enough.

I have no doubt that Margaret and Mildred are there ahead of me: that many women sit on the right hand of God. That women have been prepared for many centuries- prepared to serve; prepared to suffer; prepared to succeed. And long may they continue to do so. For who am I to criticise the desire of women today to become even more involved in the administration of the church – in the spreading of his word? Have women not always been involved- have they not always inspired? Have they not always been prepared?

My church is all inclusive. It is not handicapped by cultural, social or gender prejudice. I would like to think that that also is the church left to us by Christ himself. To whom was he talking at the Last Supper when he said “Do this in remembrance of me?”

A chosen few? Jews? Whites? His disciples? Women ? – Lesbian stained glass artists?
When Jesus instituted the Eucharist at the Last supper- and I don’t want to go in to the debate about whether women were present there or not, when he declared his desire to remain present in his community for all time to come, asking that we give thanks through the sacramental signs of bread and wine - did he not mean to include his mother, or the early deacons like Phoebe and Prisca and Aquila and Evodia and Ludmila and Saint Margaret – and Saint Mildred – and Clare of Assissi and Joan of Arc and Teresa of Avila and Elizabeth Fry and Elizabeth Blackwell and Mary Slessor and Gladys Aylward and Joan Howson and Ludmila Javorova; and Dawn French and Ruth.
All baptised in Christ – all have put on Christ: all have become Christ: all are open to all sacraments.
The Christian church in which I believe, is one body – made up of separate individuals each bringing his or her own unique talents to provide for the well-being of the whole community.

1 Corinthians 12, verse 25:

May there be no discord in that body, but pray that that all members may have the same care for one another. Amen.

Window in St Peter's

Peace be with you

by revruth @ 2005-11-03 - 16:18:22

A letter to the Daily Telegraph from The Rev Ken Francis, Cornwall:

'I am afraid that dropping to one's knees in prayer during the 'Peace' seldom works. I've tried it on many occasions. Peace devotees are a breed not to be thwarted: they pat you on the back, pat your head - or bend down and breathe unctious murmurings in your ear.
I am wondering about a water pistol.'

What on earth is so bad about shaking someone's hand and saying "Peace be with you"?

But I've always fancied introducing water pistols at Easter for when we renew our baptismal vows.

Quote for the day

by revruth @ 2005-11-03 - 15:55:56

"We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love each other."

Jonathan Swift

Old souls and young souls

by revruth @ 2005-11-02 - 16:00:00

Happy All Souls Day! I love that line from the reading today in Isaiah: "The Lord will wipe away the tears from every cheek; he will take away his people's shame everywhere on earth, for the Lord has said so."

Anyway, after we had kept the Feast this morning at St C's we had a visit from Primary 4 of the local school. Over 50 seven and eight year-olds flooded into church with teachers and several bouncers to learn about the church building and why we come to church. What a racket!

We came to the conclusion that we come to church to sing, to pray, to read stories, to talk to God, to remember the Last Supper, to have communion and to say sorry. Oh, and sometimes we come to be baptised, married or to die. (On the last point, can I just say that although I have seen one or two close their eyes during my sermons, I am not aware of any actual deaths.)

We discussed the silly names the church has for things and we spotted loads of crosses all over the place. We cheered (and the boys booed) at the fact that women can be priests. And we dressed up in albs and stoles and chasubles - but nobody wanted the green set because they don't support Hibs. (Next time we will need to borrow Kelvin's sarum blue set as Rangers seems to be the preferred option.)

We smelled oil for anointing, and tasted wafers for communion and decided they were either like the wafers with ice-cream, cardboard or the stuff that flying saucers are made from but without the sherbet.

We all say that we would like more children in church. All I can say on that subject, is that I'm not sure that I could cope with 50 children every Sunday. I was more than a little frayed by the end, my headache was throbbing and my throat sore from raising my voice above the crescendo of little voices. The teacher apologised but said it was just because they were so excited at being in church. In that case, it was all worth while.

And let us say a prayer for all teachers. They deserve every penny they get.

A message for nut allergy sufferers

by revruth @ 2005-11-01 - 14:27:04

I bought a packet of Revels the other day. I haven't had any for years but they were on offer so I thought I'd treat myself. I like most of them (except the nut ones) and I like the surprise of not knowing what you're going to get. I even quite like the coffee ones.

But there was a further surprise waiting for me. The nuts have gone and have been replaced by chocolate covered raisins. Oh joy!

I assume this is for those who suffer from nut allergies. How considerate. They ought to advertise this.

Now, if someone would just bring back Mint Cracknels I would be very happy indeed. Any other old sweety memories? Olde English Spangles, Aztec bars, Toffee Doddles, Chewing nuts.

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