We didn't do much on baptism at our Theological Institute, it not being a skills-based course. But I think in my heart of hearts I had decided that full immersion wasn't going to be the way to go - for me anyway. It's hard enough wrestling with a slippery infant when you too are wearing slippery vestments. But somehow I knew I was never likely to go down the wet-alb route. This little story has just confirmed that for me.

Waco - A pastor performing a baptism was electrocuted inside his church on Sunday morning after grabbing a microphone while partially submerged, a church employee said.

The Rev Kyle Lake, 33, was standing in water up to his shoulder in a baptismal at University Baptist Church when he was electrocuted, said Jamie
Dudley, a church business administrator and wife of another pastor there.

Doctors in the congregation performed chest compressions, she said. Lake was taken by ambulance to Hillcrest Baptist Medical Centre, where nursing
supervisor Pat Mahl said he was pronounced dead.

The woman Lake was baptising apparently had not stepped into the water, Ben Dudley said.

Pastors at University Baptist Church routinely use a microphone during baptisms, Dudley said.

"He was grabbing the microphone so everyone could hear," Dudley said. "It's the only way you can be loud enough."

About 800 people attended the morning service, which was larger than normal because it was homecoming weekend at nearby Baylor University, Dudley said.

"At first, there was definitely confusion just because everyone was trying to figure out what was going on," Ben Dudley said in a story in Monday's
Waco Tribune-Herald. "Everyone just immediately started praying."

Lake, who had a wife and three children, had been at the church for nine years, the last seven as pastor, Dudley said.

http://www.news24.com/News24/World/News/0,6119,2-10-1462_1826282,00.html

Mum was back in hospital this week with gastroenteritis which mucked up all her medication. She has stopped vomiting willy nilly and is home now but still feels grotty and not able to take the dog out for his constitutional. I offered to take him for a few days.

Picked him up last night, we panted all the way home in the car, got him in to the house along with a dozy wasp who saw the light and thought he'd visit, and then found out that although I had a boot-load of doggy goodies, I did not have his collar and lead.

So, the whole point of me taking him was to walk him and I can't. Got to go back today to pick it up. But we've been round the garden a few times today.

I never have time to read a daily newspaper these days so I have taken to buying The Week which gives a digest of all the world's news in one publication. And jolly good it is too.

This week I read a story which made me smile. I dont know which paper it first appeared in but I suspect it was of the tabloid variety.

'A convicted murderer in Romania is trying to sue God for failing to protect him from the Devil. The prisoner, known only as Pavel M, claims that his baptism was a contract between him and the Almighty, and that the Almighty - in the form of the Romanian Orthodox Church - broke its terms by allowing temptation to lead him off the path of righteousness.'

Now if only we could discuss that tomorrow night at our Diocesan Synod when we look at the revised Initiation rites.

We couldn't get an organist for yesterday's service at St C's so Jim offered to bring his lap-top in and use it instead. Don't ask me how he did it, but I think it involved downloading midi-files and then attaching the computer to a big black thing which might have been an amp. He and June even managed to get our mass setting on it which was pretty impressive.

There was only one small problem. Somewhere in the process we lost breathing spaces between verses. (And between some lines in the hymns!) With the result that we all romped through the mass at high speed and red faces and slumped exhausted in between times. I didn't actually time the service but I reckon we got through it all in 45 minutes.

They'll be wanting that every week now.

Finally finished Angel and Me by Sara Maitland. I started it ages ago but it became my bedtime book and that is the one in which I only manage a few pages - sometimes just a few lines - before my eyelids become too heavy to continue. It was recommended by a friend who had gone back to read it a second time, and now I can see why.

It was the ideal bedtime reading because it contained short stories, some of which were originally written for radio. It was fun to imagine whose voice might have read them: Miriam Margolyes et al. And they were all about women - women of the bible, saints, sinners and angels. Of Sarah, Martha, Mary Mag, Pilate's wife, Lady Godiva, Radegund, Mary Fisher, Margaret Clitheroe, Perpetua and Felicity, and the guardian angel.

These women came alive for me and confirmed my love of story-telling. Maybe one day I shall do a series of 'Jackanory' sermons...

Day off today so I went to visit an old friend in Edinburgh. Mike and I used to work in the Rock Trust together and we shared many a giggle together. I have not been very good at keeping up with friends since I got into this ministry malarky (?sp) but I couldn't miss out on the opportunity to spend an afternoon with a real live author.

Mike has just had his first book published, having won the Kelpies Prize at this year's Edinburgh Book Festival. See http://florisbooks.co.uk/kelpiesprize/
And you will find his book Catscape on Amazon if you want a cracking good read, or if you know of any children needing a nice Christmas present. Just don't mention J K Rowling in his company! I nearly did, but the warning look was enough to stop me.

All of which makes me think about this writing of books and the one which I keep threatening to do. My problem is that nobody would believe half of what happens in the daily life of a priest. Sometimes I don't either.

Oh, what a dilemma! Nestlé is the most boycotted company in this country (and elsewhere) because of their unethical practices in developing countries. As recently as May this year they were sending out calendars to health care workers in the Middle East giving recommendations on when to start babies on solid food (ie Nestlé products). “Is he lifting up his head and neck? Your baby’s ready for his gentle first food.”

So now I hear on the radio today they Nestlé are about to launch a fair trade instant coffee which I think will bear the name of Nescafé. This used to be my preferred brand until I heard, almost 20 years ago, what they were doing in India to encourage women to use formula milk instead of breastfeeding. I boycotted all their products then and have continued to keep up to date via the website http://www.infactcanada.ca/NestleBoycott.htm

And it has not been easy, let me tell you. No Kit Kats and no After Eights and no Smarties (and those tubes were so handy for fundraising purposes). But I have stood firm and encouraged my little flock to do the same.

The FairTrade organisation said this morning that people should know that it is only this new coffee which is fairly traded, and that they hope the company will look at other areas in the near future. And they will monitor it closely. A spokesperson from Nestlé said they would, but in a sort of non-committal way.

So my dilemma is this? Should we buy this coffee to encourage them? Can we eat Kit Kats once more? Can we use Smartie tubes for collecting pound coins at Advent and Lent, or should we continue to stockpile those lovely purple containers from Cadbury mini eggs at Easter? There is nothing on the boycott site about this new development.

Help!

"I was going to conquer the world, but I was distracted by something sparkly."

Seen on a pink t-shirt, and then seen in an article by Simon Parke in last week's Church Times.

I like it.

I have three flying pigs on my wall going up the stairs. They are pink, of course, and have wings. This morning I found a pink 'thing' on my desk in my study and it took me some time to figure out that it was one of the flying pig's ears. It took me less time to guess that this was the result of an 'accident' and that the perpetrator was probably Son No 1 who was out for the weekend.

I also have one broken phone. Courtesy of same son. Same weekend.

And the timer on my lamp doesnt appear to be working either. Same son but last weekend, I think.

What next, I wonder?

Had our healing service tonight, it being St Lukestide. There was a lovely prayerful atmosphere in St Peter's and some visitors came too.

Healing is very tiring. No wonder Our Lord went off to pray on his own so often after being with the crowds. Just what I am going to do...

"In the Name of God most High, receive Christ's healing touch to make you whole in body, mind and spirit. The power of God strengthen you, the love of God dwell in you and give you peace that you may serve him now and evermore.

Lift up your face to the Light. The mark of Christ is upon you; walk free and open your heart to life, for Christ walks with you into a new day. Amen."

(from Pastoral Prayers ISBN 0-264-67400-6)

Headed off to the CRE yesterday with 2 friendly clergy friends - and also bumped in to 2 of my little flocks.

It did occur to me as I wandered up and down the aisles trying to dodge some very enthusiastic Christians that it wasnt nearly so exciting as the first one I went to many years ago. I think this is because of the internet - in that we can now see what all those companies down south have to offer merely by looking at their websites. However, it is nice to stroke the pretty vestments and feel the quality, never mind the width. And how long would it have taken me to find out that SOS (Shinglers of Sutton) now do a woman's clerical shirt with tonsure collar? But they do and I am delighted and have ordered one.

I nearly ordered a gorgeous stole from Juliet Hemingray but managed to stop myself. But if anyone wants to buy me a pressie then you can see it in their catalogue (purple with cross and crown of thorns which looks like a dandelion clock). Actually, I'd quite like one in black too for funerals, but that may be too greedy.

Came home, tired, and with a bag full of carrier bags. It would seem that Christian Resources doesn't mean saving the planet from plastic bags.

Just back from the beautiful Isle of Cumbrae where the Diocesan Mission and Ministry committee were having an overnight meeting. What a difference it makes to the working of a committee when you are in different surroundings and don't have to worry so much about time constraints. We even had time to laugh, worship and socialise together too.

If only all committee meetings could be in a cathedral on an island. Mind you, it has totally destroyed my routine for this week and I now have a pile of work to fit in before the wedding on Saturday. But I think it was worth it. And you can't beat a fry up for breakfast.

I listen to the Radio a lot. On a Saturday I start off with what used to be John Peel's show Hometruths because I like to hear about eccentric people. Then I switch over to Radio 2 for Jonathan Ross. He makes me laugh and I like David Bowie too and he features heavily.

However there is one thing I have noticed about Jonathan Ross's show and that is that very few female artists appear or have their records played. (Only 2 women artists this week!) Maybe one day I shall email in and complain rather than muttering to myself every Saturday morning.

So this week I went out and bought The Very Best of All Woman (The Platinum Collection). The bonus is that a paltry sum is donated to Breakthrough Breast Cancer too. Go girls!

I have been told that I should be wearing an SOS Talisman bracelet to alert people that I have an allergy to Penicillen and other hideous diseases which medical folk ought to know about in case I am in an accident and can't speak.

The bracelet arrived today and I have been filling in the tiny bit of paper which concertinas inside it with all my medical history on it. I've done the allergy thing, next of kin, blood group, religion, and relevant diseases. But there is still some space for Other Information.

Should I include 'Attention Seeker', do you think? Then they would know that I'd appreciate flashing lights and sirens blaring. Or is wearing a bracelet with SOS in huge letters enough?

Just finished reading Celebrating the Eucharist by Benjamin Gordon-Taylor and Simon Jones. And a jolly good read it was too. However, it would appear that I am sometimes doing 'hands orans' when I ought not to be doing it. Nobody every taught me when to do it so I have just done it by instinct. Seems I was wrong.

Is it too late to change, I wonder? Will anybody notice? Will I faint if Simon Jones turns up in my congregation one day? Oh, probably.

Today is old William's feast day. I had to look him up to see what his story was and this is what I found (in Exciting Holiness and Saints on Earth):

[William] became determined to translate the scriptures from the Greek directly into contemporary English but was thwarted in this by the Bishop of London. So W settled in Hamburg in 1524, and never returned to England.

When the first copies of his translation arrived in England in 1526, it was bitterly attacked as subversive by the ecclesiastical authorities. He spent much of the rest of his life making revisions to his work... But even in Europe he had to keep on the move. Narrowly escaping arrest in Cologne, he was able to publish his NT at Worms in 1525. 18,000 copies were smuggled into England... He made inroads on the OT - though he only published the Pentateuch and Jonah.

His life's work proved good enough to be the basic working text for those who, at the beginning of the following century, were to produce what became known as the Authorised Version of the Bible. He was eventually arrested in 1535 and imprisoned in Brussels on charges of heresy. He was strangled and then burnt at the stake on this day in 1536.

His last words were, "Lord, open the King of England's eyes."

So there you are. I wonder why he chose the Pentateuch and Jonah from the Old Testament? I get the Pentateuch thing, but would Jonah be my first choice? Hmm. I reckon I'd have gone for the Psalms or Isaiah.

Last week's Grazia magazine has a page listing 100 calorie snacks. Things like 3 mini ryvitas with cheddar, or 1/2 pack of carrot batons and 2 tbsp guacamole. My favourite, though, was 15 milk and dark chocolate raisins which are 'good for getting your daily antioxidants and it counts as one serving of fruit too'.

15 chocolate raisins! I ask you! In my book, that is the first mouthful. I'd happily eat 5 handfuls and get my whole day's fruit quota in one go. In fact, I reckon I could get a whole week's worth in one go too. Which will be why I am not a supermodel.

Went to the cathedral yesterday afternoon for 3 ordinations (2 to the deaconate and 1 to the priesthood). Lovely mass setting (Schubert in G) and good sermon by the Rev'd Canon Peter Allen. 7 deacons in the front row and only 6 priests. Why are our clergy not turning out for ordinations, please? And why, when you have 7 deacons plus 2 about-to-be-deacons, did the Dean read the gospel? (Mind you, he did do it beautifully!)

I needed a new scanner so I went in to PC World on my day off. There were about 18 different scanners ranging in price from about £30 to £130. The little price tickets had features printed on them but I didnt understand what they meant. I stood for about 15 minutes pondering. Why is it that when you want help in a shop there is nobody offering it?

So I went in search of a nice young man (not for the first time!). I found one and said I'd like some advice on scanners. Here follows our conversation:

"Can you explain the difference in all these scanners please?"

"What do you want it for? Scanning documents or photographs?"

"Just documents please."

"Well this would be a good one, and it has OCR."

"What is OCR?" (Actually I knew what it was but just couldnt quite remember.)

"OCR means it can convert the text."

"Right. That's what I want."

"Or you could have this one which does photos from negatives."

"No, I just want to scan documents."

"Or you could have one that copies, scans and is a printer and a fax."

"No, I just will take this one that scans documents, thank you."

"Well, we don't have that one in stock."

"Do you have another similar one in stock?"

"No, we just have the ones that scan photos and they start at about £100."

"Well, why do you have all 18 out on display when you only have 2 for sale?"

"I don't know."

"Ok, thank you and I shall go elsewhere."

"Right."

And off he went.

I followed him to ask where else sold scanners and he said Office World. I drove there and they had 2 scanners - the same 2 that PC World had. I sense a conspiracy.

Came out of there and spotted Currys so I popped in and found the scanner I wanted at a cheaper price. Nobody came to help me there either but I just grabbed it and ran to the desk.

Got it home and what a treat it is! It scans up on end, it copies, it makes things into PDF files, has OCR, and emails things it has scanned. And all without a plug! How things have changed. Pity it doesn't do photographs...